My name is Annabelle and I live with a condition called spina bifida. First, let me educate you on what spina bifida is: it’s a condition that is a type of neural tube defect where the spinal column and membranes around the spinal cord fail to close completely in my mother’s womb during her early pregnancy. Right after I was born, my faith does not mean I struggle. If you could see my life through my eyes, I pray you would see more than spina bifida. I hope you would see the woman I am who’s been given such a beautiful life, and I have had to be carried through difficult seasons, whether it’s doctor’s appointments or another surgery. Between hard moments and good ones, I choose joy in the unknown moments. The Lord never promised me that my life would be fun 24/7; He says, “Trust me, I got you.” When I look back at the little girl whose parents were told she’s not going to make it through birth and they waited, then the Lord turned on my body and I keep seeing the faithfulness of Him. A girl that loves her family so much and a girl that clings to Jesus and a woman that keeps rolling forward. Having spina bifida means having a wheelchair and having leg weakness, which none of those things are hard for me; they have taught me to be my own person and the one God made me to be. I am a masterpiece and I also have hydrocephalus, which means I had to have a thing called a shunt placed in my head at birth which helps take away the fluid buildup on my skull. Mine is about to be 23 years old, which is a miracle. It’s a part of my testimony, a part of me and my life and that’s shaped me for who you see today and it’s not everything I am. I am daughter to some of the best people around named Christen Hulgan and Jon Hulgan, the ones that make my world go around and the ones that make sure I am safe, happy, and healthy, whom I also adore, but that’s not only who I am—I am a sister to Jack who I adore so much. I am a little sissy to Jessica whom I absolutely adore. I am a friend to all. A girl who loves Jesus with her entire heart, soul, music, worship, and singing my heart out to all kinds of worship tunes and spending time with the people I love so much. I wish people could see the world through my eyes and brain and maybe all of you would understand more about what I can and can’t do and the things I have overcome in my life. It’s about accepting help when I need it, but wishing I could do some stuff on my own. It’s about having hard times, but then gratitude filling up my heart. There are days I wish I could just live with no surgeries or doctor appointments or hospital rooms, but then I am reminded I almost did not make it out of the OR while my parents were giving birth to me, and that reminds me to replace my stress and fear with a heart of “Thank you Jesus, I am alive today!” I can handle it all because of the grace and love of Jesus and those around me that remind me I am not rolling alone in any of this. But when I see those hardships, I see my momma, my daddy, my Jack, and my Jessica, and I see the people that have sat and asked hard questions when my mind couldn’t process what doctors were saying. I see the people that have walked into hospital rooms with me. If I could tell you anything about why I still have a smile daily, even with the medical stuff, it would be because of my momma. I see the love in the things she does for me, and I will always treasure our special bond. And there’s my daddy who also carries the load with my momma, and I will always be his little girl; his love is in helping and asking questions when I can’t and in so many other ways I cherish. I will always treasure our bond and I will always be grateful for the love he gives me. My Jack and my Jess are a part of my laughter and the moments that have shaped me in between. I am thankful for the many ways they include me and stand beside me. My relationship with Jesus is one of the foundations of how I get through hardships in my life, and even when it’s happy or sad, disappointing, I still turn to the hope I have in Jesus because he’s the only one that can turn my stress into faith, my sad into joy. Me having special needs does not take away the desire to be independent because I am in some ways of my life. But I will never let my life take away the list of obstacles; it looks different, but that’s okay—I live my normal life God gave me. I pray you see the beauty in some moments because I do. My special needs are a part of my life; it’s NOT my worth.
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